"TT MEMORIES 2003"
or
Why does it always happen when there are lots of witnesses?

It had been another pleasant early evening ride up to Heysham on the west coast of England only a 100 miles from home. We were booked on the 02.00am ferry, Jean and I were on the Honda ST1100 and Ian and Carol were on his Kawasaki GTX 750R.
A big plus this year--no need to haul heavy panniers with vast amounts of Jean's clothes-shoes-etc and all those things that women seem to need for a holiday on Mona' Island ( another name for the I.O.M.) "Jean it's a bike holiday,not a bloody fashion show" Although I must admit she scrubs up well for an "Old Bird"
The reason we had none of "Jeans Fashion Outlet" with us, Neil--Ian,s brother--was taking his builders van this year with his ZZR1100 and my old Honda 750 plus Jean's gear. Kevin and Pam are a couple from Somerset who we had met on the TT ferry in the 70s and they were going to use the old Honda for their holiday. They will ride anything--as long as it's someone else's bike!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They are great company but drink a little too much, but don't pay often,be warned if you make it to the TT sometime!!

Although it's only about 1and 1/2 hours to the ferry terminal,you can do it in an hour --BUT-- TT time means lots of police about on the roads leading to the ship. The ride gets better the closer you get to Heysham--it's 8 miles from our place up to the motorway-M62- a great country road, fast and open--similar to the Mountain Road in the Island. But you have to keep your eyes open for sheep wandering about--even sleeping in the centre of the road sometimes. The A672 road from The Trotter house runs through Sowerby Bridge--Triangle--Ripponden, and then opens up into open countryside passing Boothwood Reservoir .If you look up to your left (watching out for suicidal sheep)the bike is now travelling parallel with the M62 where you can see bikes--usually German lads on BMWs--moving at high speed(for BMWs) on the run from the Hull Ferry on the east coast up to Heysham about a 200 mile ride for them. As we head up the slip road to entry 22 its a great feeling as you become part of an ever-growing group of bikes heading for another TT. About 20/30 miles away from Heysham as I look in the mirrors all you can see are bike headlights following--(its BMWs trying to catch up)--but every so often here comes a "HERO" in the fast lane--he just cant help himself, one I really remember I think it was 1988--riding a Laverda "JOTA" 1000cc--I heard him as he blasted past--don't they make a great sound those 3 cylinders. The speed limit is 70mph on our motorways--but you can get away with 80mph,and we were sitting at a nice 80/85 when he came past--head down with the wire stretched to 140 easy--with a set of blue lights flashing behind him!!!! We never saw the "JOTA" again, but about 5miles up the motorway on the hard shoulder was a cop car with smoke pouring out of the bonnet (hood) and tail pipe!!!!!! Laverda JOTA 1 Cops 0

We had left far too early for the ferry,but planned on a drink before the pubs closed at 11pm. There,s one at the crossroads about 300yds from the ticket office on the dockside,and by the time we arrived the place was heaving. Whatever bike gets you going there was one to look at as we walked round drinking our first and only beer before the sea cruise. Just as we were about to mount up and leave we noticed a group of about 6 young bikers throwing beer at one poor lad in the group. Turns out he was in charge of tickets and arrangements for their first ever TT trip-- they should be on the 2pm sailing later that day--not--the 2am boat they had turned up for-- so they had a long wait.His leathers were covered in beer and Guinness etc but it was all good natured fun.

Time to embark--as they say--for TT number 36. Some ferry trips are memorable--.lots of laughs,beer,strange sights,new friends,stunning bikes/girls and bad crossings(only one so far) But Jean and I must have had a good 4 hrs sleep this time.I don't remember much about our Irish Sea Cruise--but I certainly remember "GETTING OFF" the boat!!!!

Jean and Carol had walked off the boat,because it can take a long time to unload 150/200 bikes and 1400 passengers. Ian and I had got split up when we got on during the night,so he didn't see what happened--good job as you know what your mates are like --always ready to take the ---- when things go wrong.

I know I meant to put the choke on BUT----must have got talking to the lad next to me as we untied our bikes. Anyway the ST fired up no trouble and seemed to be running cleanly,but how the hell can you tell when your surrounded by a mad bunch of bikers crazy to hit The Mountain Road at 6am for the first time since last years TT Races. Exhausts of every make from round the world are being warmed through--some at close to maximum revs,some headbanger is doing a burn out on the steel decking. Horns are being sounded impatiently-the 2 stroke haze is creeping into my helmet---I love it--its TT TIME again. Oh to be 18 and do it all over again.

Its my turn to get in gear and climb the ramp up onto the deck. I think it all went wrong on the first ramp, I got up the ramp ok but as the front wheel mounted the level area between ramps and I began to turn right the Honda ST coughed and stalled(no choke) and over we went,back down the ramp. If id had an 60inch inside leg perhaps I could have saved the bike---but its doubtful--an ST1100 must weigh at least 650/700lb and feels even bigger at embarrassing times like this.

For an old guy(I would be 63 when this happened) I must have been bloody quick at times like this--before the bike can pin me to the deck and cause me more embarrassment I'm upright. Now I'm watching the bike first hit the engine crash bar--then carry on over until it smashes the right hand mirror and plastic fairing cover--then go over even further until the windshield hits the deck and the bike comes to a halt at last.

Don't expect sympathy when you are on your arse on the bikers boat and your in the way ,all i could hear was "Ever thought of buying a moped or a scooter mate" "Come on stop lying around I want my breakfast" "Must be one of those born again bikers" "First time on the ferry I see" " Does your mother know your out on your own" "Must be a girl" That's just a few things I can remember--and then they all start sounding their horns--sometimes its good to be wearing a full face helmet.
A young guy came to my assistance and between us I was upright once again and back on my wheels. This time with plenty of choke we made it out onto a very warm, sunny Douglas sea front. In spite of 'THE OFF' it was another great TT. It always is, altogether now
'I think I'll go just one more time'.

PS There was a letter in the Motor Cycle news a couple of weeks later, some guy complaining about born again bikers who couldn't even get of the Isle of Man ferry. I think he was writing about me.
I'm sure his time will come.
JIM